I'm sorry Reuben

On second thoughts, no I'm not. I'm going to enjoy posting this, not because I'm a sadistic bastard (though you get to make the call on that), but because I have nothing better to do at 8.30 am.

Excerpts from an MSN conversation, uncensored and taken (though not entirely) out of context. Participants are Chris, Reuben, and yours truly as Turd Ferguson.

Turd Ferguson says:

you seem to know it better than i do.

Reuben says:

of course

Reuben says:

i spied on you when u went to the loo

Chris says:

Or....

Chris says:

He's probably talking from past experience?

Turd Ferguson says:

nah

Turd Ferguson says:

then he'd be talking about you

Turd Ferguson says:

unless he is

Turd Ferguson says:

and doesn't know it

Reuben says:

wtf is a turd ferguson

Chris says:

Well, I don't swing that way and never did, so its either you or he has wet dreams of us all...

Chris says:

Ugh

Turd Ferguson says:

celebrity jeopardy fool

Reuben says:

mmmm i like wet dreams

Reuben says:

especially when u wake up with white stuff in ur undies

Chris says:

Grossé

Chris says:

Now, I can see why you keep telling everyone else to get lotsa undies when coming to the US...

Reuben says:

eating early morning premature ejaculated sperm is the key to good bone marrow health

Chris says:

I submit

Turd Ferguson says:

i'll quote you on that

Reuben says:

ah exactly

Chris says:

Blog's are just great...

Reuben says:

omfg dont u dare

Reuben says:

u pricks

Reuben says:

doh

Reuben says:

me and my big mouth

Reuben says:

share a secret and u get fucked in the ass

...

Reuben says:

omfg u whores

Reuben says:

i'll KILL YOU ALL!!!

Turd Ferguson says:

sure

Reuben says:

i'll murder your puppies

Turd Ferguson says:

if you get off your lazy ass to drive down to austin that is

Turd Ferguson says:

and then to florida

Turd Ferguson says:

puppies?

Chris says:

Pussies are gonna have to do for you...

Turd Ferguson says:

sorry

Chris says:

Squirrels too

Turd Ferguson says:

i just have one hell of an evil cat --->

Reuben says:

speaking of that cat

Reuben says:

wtf did u do to it

Reuben says:

it looks raped

Turd Ferguson says:

now i never thought of it that way

Turd Ferguson says:

you sick bastard

Chris says:

Like I said before

Chris says:

He's obviously saying all that from experience

Reuben says:

now i never raped a cat

Turd Ferguson says:

obviously

Reuben says:

just fingered it a little

Turd Ferguson says:

quote x2

Reuben says:

ARGH whore

Draw your own conclusions - you know you want to.

---

Now Playing: U2 - New Year's Day